we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
