wat bout pragnant strippers??
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I supernannyed him into submission
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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