I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
