Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
