Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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