Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
