she was so not down for the gang bang
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am available for nakedness
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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