It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
