my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
