just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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