what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
