he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
