You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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