is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
