Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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