My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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