OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
