i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize