he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
