people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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