You made me cry and you don't even care
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
