In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
