he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
