reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
