I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
