New low: just hacked my moms facebook
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
