He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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