Porn is love you can see.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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