well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
