and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
