so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
