im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
