New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
