help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
