Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
