but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
