Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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