We're facebook friends in real life
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My vagina is officially offended.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
