so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
