Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
