He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
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I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
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