Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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