he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
