I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
even my farts smell like vagina
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
