You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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