It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
