You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
