Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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