There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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