pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize