This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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