I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?