Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?

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  (808): Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show? http://tfl.nu/1sfk
  Replies (2) Good night (1146) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt

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  (239): At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt http://tfl.nu/gv5c
  Replies (12) Good night (2523) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.

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  (314): In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night. http://tfl.nu/bhg6
  Replies (12) Good night (1981) Bad night (3162)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.

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  (813): Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b. http://tfl.nu/ahce
  Replies (17) Good night (4271) Bad night (1921)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect

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  (224): Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect http://tfl.nu/i76x
  Replies (3) Good night (1641) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.

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  (970): She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech. http://tfl.nu/63c3
  Replies (2) Good night (1164) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"

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  (949): You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this" http://tfl.nu/ckz0
  Replies (6) Good night (1382) Bad night (2011)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.

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  (919): Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him. http://tfl.nu/jzxh
  Replies (2) Good night (1083) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.

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  (303): I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list. http://tfl.nu/udqv
  Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold

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  (916): Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold http://tfl.nu/79ln
  Replies (14) Good night (926) Bad night (1537)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?

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  (802): Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in? http://tfl.nu/o63r
  Replies (8) Good night (481) Bad night (1464)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.

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  (501): May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t. http://tfl.nu/izdj
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face

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  (248): I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face http://tfl.nu/fni1
  Replies (5) Good night (600) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.

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  (612): I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone. http://tfl.nu/naxz
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl

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  (443): Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl http://tfl.nu/vb8k
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (610)

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