Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.

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  (515): She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body. http://tfl.nu/lybk
  Replies (6) Good night (694) Bad night (2355)
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  (631): View more from New York

  im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (631): im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/3y00
  Replies (65) Good night (8345) Bad night (927)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.

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  (818): I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO. http://tfl.nu/pbw8
  Replies (15) Good night (4220) Bad night (857)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.

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  (352): Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa. http://tfl.nu/e1sr
  Replies (26) Good night (6892) Bad night (1624)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.

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  (703): I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes. http://tfl.nu/i5s6
  Replies (6) Good night (1074) Bad night (4958)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong

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  (682): Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong http://tfl.nu/w74n
  Replies (4) Good night (2693) Bad night (1157)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.

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  (540): Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good. http://tfl.nu/d8mv
  Replies (5) Good night (2056) Bad night (905)
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  (415): View more from California

  You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.

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  (415): You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can. http://tfl.nu/e8s7
  Replies (5) Good night (1834) Bad night (2136)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

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  (614): I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table' http://tfl.nu/avs4
  Replies (4) Good night (3835) Bad night (789)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!

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  (651): Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday! http://tfl.nu/4hno
  Replies (5) Good night (1117) Bad night (558)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.

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  (757): If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably. http://tfl.nu/joah
  Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (392)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand

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  (403): Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand http://tfl.nu/zc4q
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (361)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?

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  (425): How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"? http://tfl.nu/pajq
  Replies (14) Good night (1063) Bad night (390)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.

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  (973): Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos. http://tfl.nu/ye3t
  Replies (1) Good night (761) Bad night (366)
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  (949): View more from California

  There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.

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  (949): There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain. http://tfl.nu/am0u
  Replies (0) Good night (596) Bad night (291)

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