Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?