If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.