Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
