so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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