I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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