eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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