I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
