i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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