i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
