somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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