check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
