It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
