I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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