Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
