I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
